Posts

Discover Yourself – Effective Listening

Management and psychology

In business, learning to listen to others is a crucial skill, especially when working in management. Whether we’re speaking with our employees, our clients, or with the upper management team, we must strive to hone our communication skills in terms of both conveying information and taking information in.

Today we’re going to discuss an approach called effective listening, also known as active listening. We’ll also share some practical tips to improve active listening skills.

Do we really listen?

Most people think that they are a good listener. A study by William Haney from the 1970s asked over 13,000 people from various organizations to compare their listening skills with others who they worked with. The results showed that virtually every person thought that they communicated as well as or better than almost everyone else in their organization. Of course, this is not how averages work! In reality, a study by Husman and colleagues from the 1980s found that most people listen at just 25% efficiency. Other studies since then have found that we only take in about 25 – 50% of what we hear.

There’s obviously a big gap between us judging ourselves to be excellent listeners and the reality that we hear less than half of what is said to us. We tend to overestimate our listening skills in part because communication takes place between at least two people, making it difficult to gauge whether we are communicating effectively without input from the other party. Another issue is the lack of clear objective criteria for assessing whether communication has been successful. Overall, this ubiquitous overestimation suggests that while we all agree that listening is important, we also don’t generally feel a need to improve our own listening skills.

Why effective listening matters

This gap between how we perceive our listening skills to be and how our listening skills actually are can cause serious issues in the workplace and elsewhere. Managers should strive to understand the employee perspective as well as the information being shared, even if the method used to convey this information is somewhat less than crystal clear.

Effective listening not only helps to diffuse conflicts and deal with problems, it also helps foster a greater understanding between managers and employees. It allows us to hone in on the subtle cues that help us assess a person’s strengths and weaknesses, thereby allowing us to formulate positive responses that will be most effective in encouraging and motivating them.

What is effective listening?

What exactly is effective listening, and how is it different from regular listening? A study in the Harvard Business Review analyzed the behavior of nearly 3,500 participants and found common patterns of behavior among the most effective listeners:

  • Effective listening requires active engagement, not just silence. Asking questions establishes a two-way dialogue with the speaker. If we sit in silence, it is hard for the speaker to know if they are being heard. But if we engage and asks for clarification or for more information, that demonstrates to the speaker that their message is clearly understood.
  • Effective listening makes the speaker feel positive. When a person feels listened to in a positive way, their self-esteem rises. In effective listening, we should be supportive and convey confidence in the speaker, even when we don’t necessarily agree with what is being said. The aim of effective listening is not to challenge the speaker or their ideas, but to understand their perspective through the creation of a safe environment.
  • Effective listening is cooperative. While it’s important to not listen in silence, it is equally crucial to pose questions in a way that is not combative or interrogative. We’re not trying to win an argument, but to cooperate in building a consensus of mutual understanding, even when there is disagreement between ourselves and the speaker.
  • Effective listening is proactive. The fact that effective listening is cooperative and not combative doesn’t mean that we can’t provide feedback. In fact, one of the hallmarks of effective listening is providing suggestions to the speaker. When we feel listened to and respected, we become more receptive to suggestions than when those suggestions come from someone who has been combative or argumentative.

In summary, the HBR study found that effective listening is about more than passively absorbing information – it is about letting the speaker bounce their ideas off of us and creating an environment of mutual respect and cooperation.

Methods to listen effectively

Let’s take a look at some practical tips we can use to improve our effective listening while bearing the above points in mind:

  • Maintain good eye contact. Doing so allows us to signal to the speaker that they have our undivided attention.
  • Don’t interrupt. Let the speaker explain in their own time without jumping in while they are talking.
  • Don’t just wait for the next opening to talk. It’s very common to become preoccupied with looking for the next opportunity to speak. Instead, we should always focus on the present and what’s being said.
  • Don’t judge or require justifications. It’s okay to ask clarifying questions, be we should be careful to avoid putting the speaker on the spot to defend their position or otherwise suggest we need to be persuaded to listen further.
  • Use open body language. Maintain forward-facing posture towards the speaker, nod as they speak, use confirmation words like “uh huh,” and smile.
  • Repeat back to the speaker. One popular management technique is to confirm with the speaker. When they have finished, we can say “So if I’m understanding you, you’re saying that…”

Effective listening is critical for becoming a better manager. By implementing these techniques in our everyday communication, we can foster a more productive working environment among our employees, clients and peers.

Learn more about how using Insights Discovery can help you become a better listener, at www.discoveryourself.com

Check back soon for more posts on psychology and management!

Communicating Personalities

personality

Getting along with others isn’t easy, especially in a working environment. Not only do we have to deal with our jobs, but we also have to deal with the people around us as well as the individuals who may work above and below us in the professional hierarchy. Being in tune with all these factors is complicated, made all the more so by how we react and interact with each piece of the puzzle.

Understanding how personality fits into all this can add another factor to an already complex arena of life. Personality in the workplace is often underestimated- we expect, or our bosses expect, people to act in a way that is beneficial to them, the company, or the task at hand. With individuals with different working styles, jobs, and personalities whirling about, this can prove to be a chaotic chore.

Working with personality
Utilizing the strengths of each personality type is vital to the success of professional environments. When people feel the freedom to be themselves and feel like their strengths are being acknowledged, great things can happen. When people run up against managers or co-workers that don’t recognize what they have to offer, jobs can become stale, dull, and frustrating.
For instance, a Fiery Red personality does well when they can work quickly and effectively. They may be personally frustrated when they need to work on a project that requires a lot of planning; far from being hasty, Fiery Red personalities are quick and decisive. Working with a Sunshine Yellow personality means that people will come first, and the social aspect of a project is emphasized. Sunshine Yellow personalities can be frustrated when others aren’t considered, or when there isn’t enough time to get to know those around them or that they may work with.
Emphasizing strength
Just as it is with communicating and adapting to each other’s personalities, recognizing each personality type requires patience and clarity. We can’t be expected to know everything about another person, but we can notice their (and our) habits that stem from our personality types. There needs to be an effort made to adapt to one another’s working styles, and understanding how personality plays into that can make a big difference.
Personality isn’t the only thing that makes a work environment successful, but when the power of personality is utilized it can make an average workplace into something much bigger.
Jung opened up an entirely new world with his discoveries, and discoveries into the psychology of personality and the self are still being made today. Insights Discovery is based squarely on Jung’s theories, and as such is an invaluable tool in helping people understand themselves and others. Schedule me, Scott Schwefel, as your keynote speaker, and I will come to your group and address the differences in personalities in a truthful, fun, and easy-to-understand way. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter to share my blogs with the color energies you work with!

Building Sustainable Professional Relationships

personality

The Four Color Personalities system is designed to give insights into your personality as well as the personalities of the people around you. When we get along with family members or certain people we work with, we may attribute it to our good natures or synchronicity. When we don’t get along with someone, we are likely to blame it on a defect in their personality and can begin to act differently towards them because of our dislike.

This unconscious (and conscious) hostility can make workplace relationships rocky, to say the least. When you know your personality strengths and weaknesses using the Four Color Personalities, you can start to notice where and why you are succeeding in certain relationships and not in others.

Workplace personalities

Sometimes you don’t get along with someone because of something they’ve done; a manager failed to credit you for an idea that turned into something big, or your boss consistently treats you as less-than. Unfortunately, these behaviors are all too common in the professional world and certainly rear their ugly heads in some work environments more than others. While we can’t always make our bosses appreciate us or our co-workers acknowledge our work, it can help shift our perspective on our professional relationships.

Examining the relationships with people you get along with is beneficial for understanding how complimentary personalities can get along. You may even find that your more productive professional relationships are with people that are very opposite to you! Figuring out why you don’t get along with certain people in your office can help you begin to smooth over the bumps in your work relationships and make your professional environment more productive.

Work towards relationships

There are a few things you can do to begin changing your behavior towards those you may not get along with. Using the Four Color Personalities system, you can determine where their personality falls on the scale and use this to plan how you interact with and react to them. Make a list of the things that bother you about them ad strategies to overcome these personality differences based on the ideas of adapting and communicating.

Remember, it’s not always someone with an opposite personality type that you may have trouble with… it could be someone very similar to you! Any conflicting relationship means taking a good hard look at yourself as well as the other person to come to a suitable solution.

Jung opened up an entirely new world with his discoveries, and discoveries into the psychology of personality and the self are still being made today. Insights Discovery is based squarely on Jung’s theories, and as such is an invaluable tool in helping people understand themselves and others. Schedule me, Scott Schwefel, as your keynote speaker, and I will come to your group and address the differences in personalities in a truthful, fun, and easy-to-understand way. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter to share my blogs with the color energies you work with!

Intentional Connection

communication

Intentionally connecting with people spanning the range of the four color personalities can make your personal and professional lives run that much smoother. Understanding the details of good communication and adapting your behaviors towards other people can not only improve business environments but completely alter your interpersonal interactions with people you know and those whom you’ve just met.

Adapting and connecting to other people is the hallmark of the four color personalities. Knowing where you fit on the personality spectrum gives you a firm foundation for beginning to build strong connections with others. As you get to know them better, you can adapt your personality and style of communication to better fit their character strengths.

How to successfully engage

Successfully engaging others in meetings, one on one interactions, and during presentations can dramatically alter how you interact with the people around you. Using the strengths of each of the four color personalities, you can create lasting partnerships and open communication with the people around you.

Sunshine Yellow personalities are open and sociable. They are very relationally-driven and value the connection they have with other people. Taking time to establish a relationship opens the door for further cooperation and communication with all of the color personalities you may find around you. Working with a Sunshine Yellow personality will be the most successful if a relationship and rapport are established before any discussion of projects or work tasks comes about.

Earth Green personalities show others the importance of a listening ear. Rather than listening out of one ear and mentally forming your next response, seek to actively listen and hear what the other person is saying. This ensures that both parties are on the same page when it comes to projects or business arrangements and that the Earth Green personality doesn’t feel ignored.

Establishing a relationship

The third step of most communications is discussing what you need or what you want. In business this could be help, partnership, or requesting information from someone else. Demanding what you need right off the bat isn’t always conducive to a successful relationship with your employees or co-workers. Fiery Red personalities are very direct when they need to get something done.

Finally, Cool Blue personalities are strong when it comes to discussing things logically and rationally. Use these skills when negotiating or when discussing potential problems and solutions to current work projects. These skills are highly important when finalizing work details and when preserving open lines of communication with business relationships in the future.

Jung opened up an entirely new world with his discoveries, and discoveries into the psychology of personality and the self are still being made today. Insights Discovery is based squarely on Jung’s theories, and as such is an invaluable tool in helping people understand themselves and others. Schedule me, Scott Schwefel, as your keynote speaker, and I will come to your group and address the differences in personalities in a truthful, fun, and easy-to-understand way. Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter to share my blogs with the color energies you work with!